I Need These Horrible Plastic Wigs

wigs.jpgwigs.gif

I’d heard that these wigs were popular with little girls in the 1960s, but had never actually seen them. Cartoonist Lynda Barry once did a strip featuring them (and the trauma a character experienced after buying them). They do look pretty terrible, actually– like piles of dog crap. But I suppose, when you’re little, you’ll wear anything.

 UPDATE March 2, 2008.

Well, I can identify with Lynda Barry’s character– little Marlys was just as upset as I was when they arrived at MY house. Yes, I won the eBay auction. For a mere bag of shells I am the proud owner of these plastic wigs– and they’re even more horrible than I dared hope.

First, the box promises three different hairstyles, but two of the wigs are simply the same style in different colors. There’s no big bombastic red Baptist lady hairdo like on the box– the red wig I received is just another version of the brown wig.

Second, they smell- not like unwashed bodies or the backyard behind a pet store; these plastic wigs have a chemical smell which probably results from the sinister by-products used in the manufacturing process. Frightening things are being released into the atmosphere every time I remove them from the box. I’ll bet these wigs are responsible for global warming!

Third, they are very tight– they may fit a little girl’s head, but they do NOT fit Mommy’s head like the instructions promise. Nor do they fit Daddy’s head. (That would be me.) When they arrived at work from eBay, we all tried them on, and they fit nobody. And I wouldn’t dare try them on a real little girl.

To recoup my investment, albeit minimal, I will rent these out to anyone interested. Interested? Leave a comment!

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43 responses

  1. If you’d been my girlfriend Jane in the 60’s, you would have already worn these. We were ever so sure they transformed us into our grownup selves. What a blast to remember. I say let’s just keep the crap in our head, rather than on it….

  2. Hi Jimmy,

    Thank you for investigating these falsely-advertised coifs! Too bad about the smell, lack of variety and small size…I had such high hopes.

    They could become the new “Elvis on Blue Velvet” and travel around to deserving family members… Have you seen or heard from Elvis on Blue Velvet in a while?

    ~Lizzy =)

  3. So you spent your dough on those stinkin’ things, and now you want to rent them out to an unsuspecting world? Was the set that you won on eBay a “sealed” box, or were they already used by some dirty little children who may or may not have criminal records by now? You didn’t mention how the wigs TASTED, Jimmy. If my mother were alive, she’d warn you to watch out for cooties.

  4. Jimmy, can I borrow one for Montana to wear on Halloween?? (Montana is my two year old yorkie.) I have seen these wigs when I went to visit my brother. and he is right, they fit NO-One…well, no human, that is. Its like trying to squeeze my butt into a size 4 pair of pants…IT AINT HAPPENIN!!

  5. y’all are stupid. Think period as when they came out and embrace art. Art has a stage large enough for everyone. If you have something negative to say, why vent? Take an anti-depressant.

  6. I don’t know how or where you found the wigs, but i had some as alittle girl. my dad took movies of my friends and i wearing them. i have looked everywhere. if you decide to be rid of them let me know. thanks!

  7. i am having a nasty flashback… i had those as a little girl and people mention them to me to this day!
    they were very cool…i am still alive and healthy despite the high chemical content and wish i still had them…..
    what company made them?
    btw it says on the package “SOFT” but i remember them as being very stiff…like little helmets!

  8. Hello, Im trying to get those for my mom,for Christmas. Sha told me once about these. Please Email me so I can try and get them in time for Christmas. Thank You! Sarai P.

  9. Oh, we had those! Got them for Christmas one year. Still have a photo somewhere of me and my sister wearing them…the novelty wore off rather quickly though, as they weren’t the most comfortable things in the world to have on one’s head.

  10. HI, Are you serious? They were a blast, my sister and I had so much fun with the wigs. Yep they did smell like plastic but back then we didn’t know it was bad to smoke, ride a bike without a helmet, knee pads etc…..But what a blast to hear they exist. Too bad they didn’t still have them for kids, rather than having them on computers without blinking their eyes(wonder what that will cause to them in the future?)kids don’t go out to play and if they do they are destroying something it seems too bad they couldn’t have the fun we did we used our imagination hummmm! But I am sure they will do good things. Anyway as many others have said I will take the plastic wigs off your hands for a bag of sea shells LOL. Take care, oh one last thought; they were made for little kids we were 4yrs and 6 yrs old, so I don’t think they should fit adults..idea invent some for adults LOL.

  11. oh my gosh! I had these silly wigs as a kid in the 60’s. But these aren’t the same ones that I had. There were 4 of them, and one had a black cleopatria hair style.

    The ones I had were on the Today Show several years ago. They had a segment on vintage toys.
    I haven’t seen them anywhere since then.

    I remember the plastic varied in thickness. The red one was thinner than the others, and made it more comfortable, actually. The thicker, harder ones hurt where they went around your face.

  12. I have been laughing hysterically with women aged 48 – 50 who had these wigs. We remember how SWEATY they were… we probably were in them for hours on end! I also think that the chemicals in them must have been from using some remains found in Love Canal in the manufacturing of these wigs. They are a real hoot to talk about in any group of 50-something women. I’m putting my photo of myself in the bronze wig on my facebook page!

  13. I’ve got a small head and would love to wear the blonde one in the Pride Parade. Tweet me, darling, and we can barter. I can bring you my Chick Magnet T-shirt.

  14. Oh oh oh… yes!!! I remember those things well! Had I seen them on eBay Jimmy I would surely have thought of you. I was trying to describe them to Stuart just a few days ago…

    I was in 4th grade and my sister in K when I was called to the Kindergarten room. The K teacher knew I kept aquaria at home and in my own classroom and wanted me to set up fishtanks in her room. When I arrived though, Natali was thrilled to have bigg brother show up, but Mrs. Sietek was at the back of the classroom sitting on the floor with one of those fuckin’ plastic wigs on her head, playing with a group of girls. She got up and proceded to explain why she’d called me down there, but the whole time (apparently) forgot it was on her head and I had to try to hold a reasonably serious conversation with a Teacher wearing that hilarious thing! Somehow I managed (*Oh, it was the BLONDE ONE.)

  15. I have been looking everywhere to buy these as a gift for my mom. She had them as a kid and would just die if she had them again. If you know of anywhere I can find them please please let me know 🙂 thanks!

  16. OMG. I was born in 1961 and had these when I was a kid. I used to scare my younger cousins with them. I cannt believe someone was actuall selling these on ebay. What a memory I just had.

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  18. Hi Jimmy if you still have these horrible thing I would like to buy them my mother always talked about this gift she hot as a kid she is now on her last breath , I would love to bring that memory to her if possible. Thanks

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