Airport Security Scanner Scandal– Let’s Get Naked at the Airport !

 

Photo Copyright TWA

” An x-ray machine that takes ‘naked’ pictures is being tested at an England airport for use as part of a high-tech security system, a story by The Australian News reports. Manchester Airport security officials say the full-body scan eliminates the need for passengers to be patted down and remove their clothing, because it can detect weapons or explosives instantly on fully-clothed passengers, the story said. But some say the scan reveals too much, including piercings, the outline of genitals and breast enlargements, the story said. Airport officials say the photos are not pornographic, and are destroyed immediately, the story said, but passengers have the option of a traditional security check. ” (From Weird Travel News Around the Globe.)

This is the sort of story promoted by the media to whip the vast American public into an outraged frenzy of indignation, shock, and intense curiosity. I mean, how many of you decided to read this post because it had the word “naked” in it? And how quickly I jumped on the story when it was posted this morning online!

We live in an age of danger and suspicion, which came upon us rather quickly. The benign / malignant (take your pick) powers-that-be who we trust to protect us have come up with all sorts of ways to do just that, but this latest technological prying is certain to challenge our Constitution. The Second Amendment guarantees us the right to bare arms, but I don’t think that includes getting naked at the airport.

Still, I’m not going to complain. It’ll just take a little bit more thought when setting out on your next trip. Here are some tips:

1. The underwear. You know what I’m referring to, and your Mother is always right about that. These days, when so many of our young people insist on wearing their underwear outside their real clothes, it is doubly important. If you’re a man and like to shop at Victoria’s Secret for yourself, be ready for the attention you may garner.

2. The piercings. Be careful what you have installed on your body, because there’s a good chance that the tiny platinum Monkey Stix that you’ve attached to your most secret regions are going to cause the metal detectors to go off, not to mention supplying the security staff with stories for the next six weeks.

3. The implants. Considering that implants are used to enhance, you would think that you would want the world to know how hard you’ve worked toward drawing attention to yourself. If you don’t want everybody at the airport to know that you have had breast implants, then stay home.

4. The outline of genitals. I don’t know any men who are ashamed of drawing attention in this way. In fact, this aspect of naked screening might even replace online dating as the newest way for a man to meet someone. For women, I’m not so sure; you never hear how developed a woman is in that area because everyone seems to concentrate up top.

While it is mentioned that passengers will have the option of being scanned in the traditional way, I would have to wonder if that would only add to the boredom of yet another red-eye to Reading. You would think that a little nudity would spice things up, considering that they’ve taken away all the fun things like free decks of cards and plastic wings. And why destroy the photos? I think they’d make great souvenirs, like the pictures they try to sell you at Disney of your entire family vomiting while careening down Thunder Mountain Railway.

But the patting down I could do without, as it always makes me giggle. Besides, if they want to check the outline of anything, they can look at my x-rays. But in reality, I’d prefer to have my parts touched a bit rather than strewn all over the Atlantic!